Discovering gentleness: living at another pacing

Discovering gentleness: living at another pacing

17This is the time of fast living. We are all rushing, result-oriented, we want to win no matter the cost but… we are also all stressed.

The contemporary age does have qualities, but it is also rich in defects that lead us adrift without our being aware of it and take us away from the naturalness of life, of relationships and well-being.

Sleep is one of the first victims, because – if our body needs regularity and calmness to regenerate every night – stress, getting up at ungodly hours, excess of food and alcohol hinder the natural dynamics between sleep and wake. Even more: the abuse of medical drugs to foster sleep is both a proof and a further barbarization of our relationship with the sphere of rest.

But, how to come out of the spiral that sees us involved in a continuous escalation of anxiety, frenzy and nervousness?

The first step is mental: simple to say, difficult to be done but extremely necessary: realizing that something is wrong.

The second step is to do something; in this case, Slow Sleep’s recommends looking inside yourself and find the things you feel more alike. Without wanting to be exhaustive, here are some suggestions to recover some calmness and rediscover that there is something forgotten: gentleness, which can change life positively:

Yoga, autogenic training and meditation
These activities help body and mind “take off the plug”. They are soft  activities which allow building up islands of calmness and fully dedicating yourself to your own interiority. This is a way to counterbalance the drift of a world that wants us constantly involved in appearing; a way -therefore – to find back an inner balance we often miss. Yoga, in particular, allows the brain working differently, inducing a state where the generation of Alpha waves shows that the mind relaxes instead of focusing on the solution of the problems.

“If everybody smiled  even only once a day, would you imagine the incredible infection of good mood which would expand on the earth?” writer Marc Levy used to say. If we think well about it, each of us may recall having said at least once in life: “He/she was so joyful that he put me in good mood!”
Sigmund Freud showed that humor is a good defense mechanism, a strategy that can release the tensions; through the work of Alexander Lowen (the father of bioenergetics) did we start to realize that an action, by the mere fact of being made, stimulates the corresponding mental state (pretending to get angry or to laugh triggers in the mind mechanisms of anger or hilarity, “recalling” episodes linked to either tension or amusement). More recently, the “mirror neuron theory” has clarified that seeing somebody laughing triggers good mood because the neurons are “infested” by what the sight is observing. Finally, smiling helps, it helps us and the others. Smiling helps release the “armor” behind which we entrench, and the magic of smile is such that even worst-tempered person may open him/herself, if we smile first. Trying is believing!

Most may find it strange, but there is a discipline called “pamper therapy”.  At the age of social networks, pamper therapy intercepts the need of caresses, teaching to be sweet through physical contact.

The words are windows (or walls)
This is the title of an essay that deals with verbal communication, teaching how the choice of words can “open” or “close” a conversation and – by extension – a relationship. Selecting words with no offense, no judgment, no aggression is a good way to recover the deep meaning of life.

They are only suggestions, but they are useful to let us understand that stopping for a while and enjoying life, spending energy to smile, hugging and communicating are necessary to live better and – why not? – to make a better world.

Let us think about that: isn’t it true that the nice thing of the holidays starts right when – as soon as we are awake – we realize that we can stay in bed a little bit more, with no watch, no pressure, no hurry and in absolute tranquility?

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